Surely every girl has ever wondered what age is the most optimal for the birth of the first child. It is difficult to give an unambiguous answer, since there are nuances in each case. These nuances shift the scales either to the positive side, where everything is fine and well, or this bowl is overflowing with minuses that negatively affect the fate of the mother and child. Let’s start by figuring out what the pros and cons of a decision to become a mother of a young girl who has just graduated from school or is studying at an institute can be.
1. Activity and health. Youth is wonderful, because you are full of strength, health and energy to conquer the whole world. And when a child appears, a young mom can direct all her energy to active interaction with the child, endlessly play outdoor games with him, walk for a long time, not really feeling tired. In addition, at a young age, the body recovers easier and faster after pregnancy.
2. Time for yourself. If the child appears quite early, for example, at 18-20 years old, then when he grows up and becomes more or less independent, the mother will still be young and full of strength and health in order to live for herself, enjoy spending time with her spouse, traveling, going to the cinema or theater.
3. Changing the worldview in the right direction. There is a guideline in life and an additional incentive for even greater achievements and successes, so that your child does not need anything. And thanks to youth, there are plenty of physical and psychological resources for grandiose achievements.
1. Financial distress. The most common problem of young parents is lack of money. Due to his young age, of course, there is still no financial cushion or stable earnings that would allow him not to need anything. If there is no financial support from parents or other relatives, then it’s bad.
2. Lack of own housing. This factor forces a young mother or a couple with a child to live with their parents. Of course, this point cannot be called an unambiguous minus, because all families are different. Somewhere, everyone can live quite peacefully together, and parents actively help with their grandson or granddaughter, it’s not a burden to them. But this does not always happen, on the basis of cohabitation with a small child, relatives may have skirmishes and domestic conflicts that negatively affect the emotional state of a young mother, affect the psychological health of the child.
3. Problems with personal life. At a very young age, a child is often unplanned, so young mothers either decide to give birth and raise this child alone, or there is pressure from parents and the couple gets married. It is impossible to say unequivocally that such a marriage is automatically doomed to collapse, but in very rare cases it is possible to keep it for many years and live happily together. If it turned out that the child’s father does not want to take part in his life, then the girl becomes a single mother, and it is very difficult for such to arrange their personal life, because a potential husband needs to love not only the girl herself, but also her child.
4. Interrupted or abandoned education. When pregnancy occurs during the student period, as a rule, study takes a back seat, there is simply no time for it. The girl takes a sabbatical at an educational institution, but does not always resume her studies afterwards. Taking care of the baby is completely absorbed, there is no way to hire a nanny, and grandparents can not always help out and sit with their grandson. If you manage to recover in college or institute, then it is quite difficult to delve into the process.
Now let’s highlight all the positive and negative aspects of mature motherhood, when a child is born to a woman after 35 years.
1. Stable financial situation. As a rule, women in adulthood have already achieved something, some more, some less, but still there is some solid foundation under their feet. It can be your own home, a car, an impressive amount in a bank account. A child born to an adult accomplished woman will not need anything.
2. An established personal life. A woman after 30-35 years probably already has everything in order on a personal level. She is in a happy marriage, where harmony and love reign, because if everything was different, then these two people could have separated a long time ago, because they were not connected until recently by common children.
3. The child is very welcome and long-awaited. If the baby wanted to come to an already mature woman, then she postponed her motherhood until the last due to objective reasons for herself, or for a very long time attempts to get pregnant were in vain. Two strips on the test in her case is a great joy and happiness, because everything she did before, all the efforts, successes and achievements would have no meaning.
4. Accumulation of knowledge and life experience. It’s no secret that a child needs not only to be fed, bathed and clothed, but also to be engaged in his development. A woman who has already seen a lot in this life, has been to many places, communicated with different people, read a lot of literature, objectively has more resources in order to productively engage in the development of her child.
1. Decreased reproductive function. Of course, after 30 years we do not turn into a wreck, but the notorious biological clock still has a place to be. With age, a woman actually has fewer and fewer good eggs that are capable of fertilization. But that’s not all. There are various gynecological diseases that interfere with the onset of pregnancy or complicate its course.
2. Deterioration of health. This minus is consonant with the previous one, then here the concept of health is considered somewhat broader. Of course, after 30 years a woman does not turn into a wreck, but the influence of modern ecology and lifestyle leaves its mark on the health of not only women, but also men. Daily activity is significantly reduced, and a home first aid kit is always at hand.
3. Feeling of loss of connection with the child. When there is a big difference in the age of the child and his parent, emotional contact with the child, with his interests and hobbies may be disrupted. It is possible that many of your child’s activities will simply be incomprehensible to you, you will not even want to delve into them. There is also a danger that in adolescence the child will begin to be shy of you, seeing that other guys have younger parents.
4. Increased likelihood of spoiling the child. If parents have good material wealth, then they may not resist spoiling their long-awaited child as much as possible. Such excessive care and fulfillment of any whim can have a negative impact already in the adult life of a child.
So, summarizing all of the above, we can draw the following conclusions. Early motherhood is fraught, first of all, with material problems, but the young body tolerates pregnancy more easily and recovers faster. And when a child is born in adulthood, there are no special problems with money, but health problems begin. Therefore, we can conclude that becoming a mother is better by choosing the golden mean, when you have already completed your studies and there is some kind of work or support in the form of a husband, but there is still no objective deterioration of the body that can prevent you from giving birth or complicate your pregnancy.